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Self-improvement: the no BS version

In order to take control of your life and ultimately get what you want, you're gonna have to take total ownership of your life choices thus far. You need to own the wins and loses that have come before.

Being accountable for your best and worst choices in life puts you on an even footing to move forward. Personally, I've made some cracking bad choices in my life. Did they change my life? Yes. Do they define me? Absolutely not.

You've got to be honest with yourself about the things you want to improve, because let's face it: none of us are perfect. We could all do with some self-improvement from time to time. Recognising you need to take action to work on yourself or your life is kinda empowering! It gives you a starting point, from which you can begin to measure steps, progress and success. The one thing that stands between you now and you improved is yourself. Once you get out of your own way with limiting beliefs, you'll be able to concentrate on what you want and how to get it.

Could do better...

We've all been there. We know that we suck at a few things (timekeeping, keeping in touch with friends, making it to the gym, cancelling plans etc etc), and we know that it'd probably be nice to improve those elements. That'd make us a better friend, colleague, partner; a better person, right?

What I hear all too often is people saying 'I should do something about that' or 'Yeah, one day I'll give it a go/I'll change/I'll stop that' etc. One word: boring. That's boring. It's excuse after excuse. You end up justifying these things to yourself, and talk yourself out of making any kind of positive change.

A limiting belief is one that holds you back and gets in your way from doing what you know you really want (or need) to do. It might be a historical factor that has created your limiting beliefs. Perhaps a parent who told you that you weren't smart enough, an (ex) partner who told you that you weren't slim enough, a colleague who told you that you'd never make management level.

Perhaps your belief system is heavily entrenched in current media and culture trends. Low self-esteem from Photoshopped images on adverts or unrealistic life expectations for social 'milestones'. You're not to blame for wherever your limiting beliefs may have come from, but you do have a responsibility to yourself to address it, and rewire it to reflect healthier beliefs. If you want to make any kind of meaningful change, you need to suck it up, work on it and get out of your way.

Clear the way

If there is a habit you're trying to form or change, or something about your life you're trying to make happen, ensure you've cleared your path from any BS.

Stop denying that you might have made the wrong choices before.

Stop making excuses for why change or development right now is 'too hard'.

Stop denying that much of where you are now is a product of the choices you've made.

Once you've cleared up your BS about the past, you can concentrate on the future. Taking control of what you want in your life seems so much less of a struggle after that!

Start being accountable for your decisions; make them with confidence. Own them!

Start being more self-compassionate as you start this journey; it takes time.

Start realising that the changes and development you want in life are more important than the 'important things' that crop up trying to get in your way.

Sometimes, we need to read something that kicks us a little. Let this be that kick. Let this post be the thing that inspires you to make the changes you've waited ten years to do. Let these be the stern words that make you sit up and realise that you've been in your own way for too long.

"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living." -- Gail Sheehy

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