What does it mean to you to be a victim?
During my life coaching tuition, I've been examining what it means to be a victim, and the mentality that comes with that. Being a victim means different things to different people, sure. Some people have been victim of traumatic and highly emotional situations, such as abuse, natural disaster, terrorism, homophobia, racism. Others have been victims of circumstance.
Being a victim can, if we're not aware, become a 'sob story' which I'm sure you'll agree is an insensitive and harsh (yet true) phrase. Experiencing trauma, in any sense of the word, can leave us feeling disempowered, disconnected from self and with low self-esteem. We may harbour resentment towards one person or group, or perhaps we feel like it's everyone around us that we can no longer trust.
Learning to be a life coach means learning to empower people; encourage positive living and asking the right questions to enable someone to look at something from another angle. Have you ever heard of social dependency?
Being a victim can create one of two mindsets. The crucial detail of this entire post is to remember that you are responsible for your victimhood. I don't mean you are responsible for what may have happened to you in the past, definitely not. But you are responsible for how you move onwards and how you view the situation.
If you avoid confronting the truth of your situation, you will never be able to take responsibility and control of how you move on. You are in control of your emotions and how you choose to view what has made you a victim. If you adopt the 'poor me' mindset, you may not be ready (or willing) to work on your view of the circumstance. Feeling the 'poor me' vibes leaves you powerless and hopeless. You are neither of these things.
Perhaps you're not driven by growing and using the situation to fuel a rebirth in your mindset. Perhaps you want to take no responsibility and so continue to blame the world for where you are in life.
Why waste your life feeling like the world owes you something?
Own what made you a victim. You may always consider yourself a victim, and that's okay. But don't get tied down by the mentality that you are no more than simply a victim. You are so much more than simply a victim. Tell the world what you've achieved despite it all.
Responsibility breeds empowerment. When you take responsibility for yourself by becoming self-aware, striving to grow and move past the trauma that haunts you, you are empowering yourself. We grow and learn from the hard times, but only if we quit the victim mentality. Stay self-compassionate, but make no excuses.
Quit blaming your persecutor for how you allow yourself to feel. Only YOU can control how you feel. Remaining a victim, with a self-pitying mindset to match, will always allow the trauma to own you.
Take responsibility for yourself and break free.